To complicate things further, saying “no” isn’t always as overt as it appears in this example; for many of the same reasons, women might say ”no” overtly when asked directly, as in the anecdote, but they might also choose to delay acceptance, saying “I hope you’ll consider me for future events,” or decide not to go after speaking engagements and other opportunities that could be available to them. And these responses lead to similar results - “manels” and other examples of women’s underrepresentation in spaces of recognition and power stubbornly persist despite the recruitment efforts of allies.
This paper stems from a desire to draw on and deepen our own understanding of why women “say no” in situations like these, and to use this wisdom to support the work of allies. The cartoon below is grounded in conversations that we had as an authorship team, and those we had as we discussed this anecdote with other women in academic medicine. It depicts the ways in which saying ”no” is complicated - “opportunities” can’t be evaluated outside of their context.